It is just an opinion

02 Cenggitu Caranya

2010-10-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

01

2010-06-27T06:36:00.000+08:00

Aku Kangen Sama Kamu

2010-02-12T11:12:00.004+08:00

Ingat lagi tika aku berjalan keluar dari masjid. Terdengar suara-suara yang berbunyi,
"Eh, dengar cerita dia mahu keluar DQ. Mesir dah lama dia idamkan. Kakak dan abangnya pun di sana. Huhuhu. Memang confirm dia akan keluar."
Aku terhenti menapak. Toleh kiri dan nampak gantang tubuh itu. sekelilingnya ada dua atau tiga orang sedang bersembang bersama. Naluri PRS (hehehe) aku berdetak-detak. Aku langsung mendekat.
"Betul kau nak pergi mesir?"
"Hmm, itulah. Tak pasti lagi. Dengar saja tentang 'perjanjian' itu, aku sangsi jugalah."
"Kenapa Mesir?" Aku bermain jarum.

***

Kami memang awalnya telahpun bertegur sapa sewaktu hari pendaftaran. Cuma diskusi tepi masjid itu, menjadi mangkin aku makin rapat dengan dia. Tambahan pula, sewaktu 'orientasi di tepi sungai' aku sekumpulan dengannya. Pelbagai kenangan kami bersama bermekaran sejak itu.

"Susahlah nak menghafal..." Dia meluah. Dan aku cuba menolong takat mampu.

"Apa cerita?" Aku bertandang lagi di biliknya, A18 seingat aku. Memang sudah jadi rutin harian.

"Bangun. Sempat lagi mahu berqiamullail." Kami saling menjaga solat malam kami. Jika kami tertinggal, kami muhasabah, cari sebab. Cuma, selalu saja aku masuk ke bilik A18 dan yang tinggal hanya teman kamarnya. Dia kuat bermujahadah. 3.30 pagi lagi sudah berkayuh ke masjid. Kagumnya! Moga Allah sentiasa membantu dia. Kadang, timbul iri. Mahu juga aku jadi sepertinya.

"Jom makan!" Frasa rejimen aku sambil muka sengih kerang masak lemak.

"Yay!" Aku bermain game dalam telefon bimbit nipisnya sambil menunggu dia siap mandi sebelum kami pergi masjid untuk Maghrib.

Semester Dua mesti pindah bilik. Mujur jua aku dekat dengan kamarnya lagi. A103.
Curahan hati dan luahan perasaan membasahkan lagi ribath ukhuwah.
Rapat, aku akui.

Tiba pula hari itu. Dia melangkah pergi. Sakit bangat, kawan! Hati luluh latak. Robek hingga burai-burai darah. Mengapa?

Memang dulu kita sama-sama dilema. Namun telah aku tolak tawaran MARA dan kau pula JPA, aku lega sebentar. Ini datang pula lagi satu. Dan kau terima. Aku sedih. Juraian air garam jadi sungai. Lesu dan lara Allah saja yang tahu. Aku sorokkan sedih aku di depan dia. Cuma aku ini insan biasa, tak mampulah! Aku tak sanggup. Lagi-lagi lihat dia langkah pergi. Aku lari. Tak kepingin bersemuka. Rajuk barangkali. Atau marah. Sudah aku sendiri bingung.

Semester Dua jadi luka. Terbabat sedikit dangan masa. Kini, aku berada di A103. Atas katil dia dulu. Berteman dengan rakan bilik dia dulu. Menghafaz di meja dia dulu. Bersalin pakaian di depan lemari dia dulu. Mana mungkin aku sorok rindu aku pada dia!

Moga Allah sentiasa bersama Kamu.
Didik Kamu.
Teman Kamu.
Dengar rintihan pagi hening Kamu.
Saksi rukuk sujud malam beku Kamu.
Naung Kamu kala mujahadah di atas bangku kuliah itu. Atau di kamar kamu kini.
Sorot Kamu di mana saja.
Ya Raqib, tuntunilah Sahabat aku yang seorang ini!

C.U.C.I.

2009-11-30T19:03:00.003+08:00

At last, I can be on the Net!
da berkurun aku bertapa kat DQ...
sedar2 dunia sudah berubah!
cam ashabul kahfi lak..
nak wat camne...
kalau aku tak disiplinkan diri aku jauh dari 'sawang'...
nanti result pekse pun bersawang.
ni baru boleh enjoy sikit.

surau kat rumah aku dah ber'air-cond'~
tetibe jemaah pun da makin ramai...
xtau la sbb ape, mungkin Allah da bukak ati mereka...
or maybe sbb ade air-cond???

waktu kuar dari DQ, terase sedikit batak melihat kereta yg bnyk.
ye r, kitorg pkai transport basikal je or most of the time, selipar n kasut...

tengok org pun sedikit terkejut, pakaian kat sini baju rehan or baju melayu or normal t-shirt...
banat lak pakai jubah plain lak tuh! or baju kurung...
g komuter, fuh boleh tercuci mata aku...putih mata!
slamatla iman still di dada.

cakap pasal pandang aurat,
aku teringat dalam halaqah aku,
waktu tu aku selalu ulang-alik rumah-DQ, ade urusan.
pakai komuter la, so memang slalu nampak sane-sini...
aku tanye: "camne bile kite melihat aurat orang macam dalam tren, bas, shopping complex?
Maksudnye dalam keadaan terdesak (bukan gila seks!). Ye lah, camne nak elak kalau pandang depan terbukak sane sini, pandang atas terkirai-kirai, pandang bawah berbungkus-bungkus macam nangke dalam kain... ape nak buat? Takkan nak tutup mate? nanti langgar tiang lak..."

maka soalan aku dijawab, khulasahnye begini...
selagi boleh elak, elak. jangan maen tadah je.
kalau terdesak cam pemberita,
jangan tengok dgn nafsu (sort of...)
n banyakkan zikirullah (qauli or maybe fikri)
dan juga istighfar... so x larut dgn sekeliling...
ade ape2 nak tambah or bangkang? silakan... (kalau bangkang, sila bagi cara lain...)

u kno, sometimes, i feel sinful, rayau2 kat luar...
mmg r nak tgk masy or bak kate org jauh perjalanan luas permandangan...
but dalam mase yg same bnyk bnde yg terlanggar...
cam pndg bnde x spatutnye, ngumpat org dlm hati or dgn kawan, jalan dengan gaya takabbur, or pndg lekeh org yg nmpk selekeh, terase cintakan dunia, or anything else...
so aku mengambil solution untuk kurangkan habit aku yg suke merayau2.
n aku kerapkan lagi hobi laen, cam ziarah kengkawan, bace buku etc...

situ dulu kot bebelan aku takat nih...
kalau ade ape2 nak tambah, kongsi, tegur, marah...
silakan.

p/s: pasal desperate roommate, ade org x stuju aku sambung dgn bberape sebab, tu akn diceritakan dlm post seterusnya, insyaAllah...

Open a New Leaf...

2009-08-04T02:18:00.002+08:00

Tersisih…

Miaw3…

Mereka belajar,

Chemistry, Microeconomics, Biology, IELTS, UYEHJJDN, whateva they r…

Manakala, pemerhatian menunjukkan bahawa Firas goyang kaki, gelak2, bace komik, bla3…

Aku la yg sbonar2nyo x bertamadun… ko baru nak sedar???

Tapi best gak, dapat duduk rilek2…hehehe…jgn mare ye…korg g r blaja rajen2..

I have a whole-year honeymoon! Abes berkarat otak aku…

Kekadang tuh..takut gak..taun dpan stat blaja nnti jd cam dak tadika..

Hari tu akak aku tanye,

“27+7 berape?”

Maka sekonyong2nya manira lopong mulut seakan tempayan…

Then, akak aku jawab seniri..

Hohohohoho.. gelakkan kebodohan sendiri. Relaxation sometimes kills –especially when it is overdosed…

Perlu ke aku stat bkak buku bio kat cni?

Atau, mampu ke aku nak bkak? Hehehe…

Selepas sebulan bertapa di DQ, akhirnya aku dapat gak on9..

Bace2 korgnye blog… rase cam

“Oh my God! Aku buat ape nih?!”

Tetibe rase cam diri ni insan x tau bersyukur…

Mase kemaenlah banyak…

Sikit2 tido.. kantoi

Bkan ape mmg trend kat cni sume suke tido… alasan

Jadi, lepas bace blog korg, aku pun rase cam nak buat sumthin…

Tapi ape ek?

1. Write short drama scripts for “Desperate Roommate.” I’ll tell u l8er bout this…

2. Hone my Manga-style drawing skill.

3. Study Biology or/and Chemistry. Yg laen x minat…nnti2 r…

4. Read books. Nih aku suke, n mmg aku x prnah tggl. X kesa la komik ke novel ke…hehehe

5. Build my career in HPA. Yeah! Go go go go, Firas! Cayao!

6. Or… I dunno… any suggestion?

I will consider the above plans… if I’m not too lazy. Sikit2 xpe…hehehe…

Personality Test

2009-06-19T14:32:00.000+08:00

Saje mean2. Ntah btol ke x.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Korg rase camne? Friends know us the best after Allah.

My Brand New Look

2009-06-16T15:59:00.000+08:00

Kalau korang tekan "wHo'S mE?" (kalo button nih hilang mgkn tgh repair kot, hehehe sori)
That is the most "sempoi" pic you'll ever see.
Huhuhuhu.
Apa-apa nak komen pasal gambar tu,
komen di sini.
Yalah, sesiapa yang rasa,
'Ko upload gambo sniri? Bapak cagla!'
'Ko ni poyo r.'
Aku terima seadanya.

(Ade org yg x puas ati snanye, dy ckap cam x thiqoh le, ape le.)
Tak salah rasanya nak upload gambar aku.
Bukannya ada unsur-unsur yang tak sepatutnya.
Betul tak?

Anyways,

This blog is still under construction.

Kalo tetibe ade bnde ilang tuh ppaham je r.

I'm still exploring the blog world.

And maybe after this I'll try to reduce my 'rigidity'-try to be more personal.

Huhuhu, just wait for my next post!

Should we stop?

2009-05-28T14:54:00.000+08:00

Persoalan ini untuk bakal mahasiswa.
Blog, kenapa nak berhenti?
Kalau tak nak 'fully-devoted,'
tak bermakna terpaksa 'fully-abondened.'

Betul tak?
Tak dapat semua jangan tinggal semua.

Terus terang, aku harap korang semua boleh 'still active' dalam 'blogging.'
Tak perlu kerap, ikut keperluan.
Seminggu sekali,
atau sebulan sekali mungkin?

Bukan apa, biasanya blog akan ditulis atas dua sebab,
1) Cerita hidup
2) Idea dan mesej

Yang pertama tu, ada yang cakap tak perlu,
tapi bagi aku itu cara terbaik nak 'keep in touch.'
Especially for those who study overseas.
Kadang-kadang, cerita korang
buat hati terhibur,
atau mungkin,
buat aku 'thabat' dalam juang hidup.
Dah bercerita, mesti dapat komen.
Dan tu boleh jadi semangat untuk terus belajar.
Ukhuwah pun makin terasa.

Aku pernah beritahu 'roommate' aku di DQ,
waktu dia nak keluar DQ,
dan dia sekarang buat persediaan untuk pergi Jordan.
"I never think this is the end. For me, it has just started. Distance can't seperate us."
Bukankah ukhuwwah itu universal.
Jangkau bahasa, bangsa, bahkan jarak?

Aku tak nampak relevan nak 'inactivate' blog.

Kalau kita buat blog nak sebar mesej, lontarkan idea,
bukankah geliga mahasiswa yang kita perlukan? Takkan nak biarkan ilmu tu cepu dalam benak?
The best, what we have learnt in lectures,
we make it our topic discussion.
Jangan biarkan sekularisasi menguasai minda terpelajar muslim.
Belajar tentang biologi, kaitkan dengan al-Khaliq, kagum dengan ciptaan.
Belajar tentang fizik, kaitkan dengan al-Qaadir, segala ketetapan.
Dan sebagainya.
Bukankah itu membuatkan 'lectures' jadi tazkirah harian?
Kongsi dengan teman, biar jadi peringatan.
Kita sudah belajar, ibadah sepatutnya jadi setiap harakah kita.
What I say, doesn't mean I do it all.
But, like what I say, don't leave it all.
Buat yang terbaik, itu yang kita mampu.
I just want to share my opinion.
That's all, not to condemn.

A Long-Winded Interview

2009-04-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Here, I want to share my interview experience.

I regret that I didn't read any interview tips on the Net as I came home in the last minute plus my wireless adapter was 'mengada-ngada.'
In front of me, there were two interviewers, a man, while in the middle of the session, a woman came.

Interviewer -I
Firas -F

I : Please take a seat. (Amazingly very friendly.)
F : Thank you. (Awfully nervous.)
I : Could I have your application forms and file.
F : Oh, yes. (Separating the application forms from the file. -As what was instructed earlier before I entered the room.) (Give him everything.)
I : So, what should I call you? Firas? (Looking at my name written on the form with a confused face.)
F : Yes. (Sometimes I wonder why should one be given long name but only part of it is used.)
I : Your friends call you Firas?
F : Yes. (Smiling.) (Yes, I know my name a little bit weird, don't need to stress it, OK?)
I : Now Firas, tell me about yourself.
F : OK, my former school is Kolej Islam Sultan Alam Shah.
Mmm, about my posts there, I was the President of Young Entrepreneurs' Club.
(Berbelit lidah aku, biasalah dah lama tak 'speaking.')
I : (Seems to be interested.)
F : I was also a librarian, a councilor's trainer and the Treasurer of Multimedia Unit.
I : (Distracted by my application form, I don't know whether he heard the above.)
(Looking back at me.) Oh, (yeah I know it! He don't listen) so you are a treasurer. (Oh, maybe I'm wrong.)
Anything else?
F : (What do you mean by that? Boring? Or maybe I'm too suu'u zhan.)
Besides, I was also one of the school delegation for the internationalization (fuh, succeed spelling it right) program.
We went to religious schools in Singapore to survey and exchange...
I : (Looking back at my face, after seeing my file.)
F : ... views and about practicality of Arabic Language usage and also to identify how do they nurture the public speaking skills to the students.
(Entah apa-apa aku cakap.)
I : OK... (Giving more attention.)
F : About my co-curricular activities, I was actively involved in English drama and carrier sketch competitions.
We were also invited to perform a theater (perform theater? Am I right?) at Muzium Sultan Alam Shah. (Adeh, lupa nak 'translate.')
I : (Nodding.)
OK... (Seems to be distracted again.)
F : (Weyh, ada lagi aku nak cakap. Tak apa, tak apa.)
(I think he read all about it in my application form, that's why he wasn't really into it. Husnu zhan.)
I : (Another interviewer comes in.)
(Still, he's talking.) OK, tell me about the course you want to take.
F : I want to take medicine.
I : Medicine, in what field?
F : Pharmacology, because...
I : (Cutting my words.) What is pharmacology?
F : Studies about drugs properties and the effects. (Main bantai saja.)
I : (Nodding.) OK, (Betul juga aku taram) why do you want to take pharmacology?
F : As what we know, herbal medicine is increasingly well-accepted in the society but the researches about herbs are lacking.
So, I want to have double carriers.
I see myself in the future as a pharmacologist who is also a pre-medical lecturer so that I can do researches about herbs and its ('their'lah bijak) constituents.
I : Then, why it must be a doctor?
F : (OK, I know it seems to be a pharmacist's job.) As I was a councilor's trainer, I was trained to deal with people's problem.
(Which is, of course, not a compulsory quality of a pharmacist. -Prone to be a doctor.)
I would not only hear their problem, but try to solve it. And I'm willing to sacrifice my time for them.
I enjoy it. (So, these may be found as weak reasons, I think.) (But they distinct my interest in medicine not in pharmacy.)
I : At which university you want to study?
F : I don't really know which university that MARA offers (blunder), but I would like to go to University of Edinburgh, Scotland, UK.
I : Why do you choose UK?
You don't want to go to middle east?
F : Don't want.
I : Why? You get A1 for Bahasa Arab Tinggi.
We only offer middle east medicine to those who get A1 or A2 for Bahasa Arab Tinggi.
F : As what I've heard from the ex-students and students there, they said that middle east (I should say Egypt) medicine is lack of facilities.
One microscope is to be shared with about six people (students, should I say).
I : OK (so they come across with my opinion).
Are your friends, who study there, receiving MARA loan?
Or maybe they are under agents?
F : I don't know, maybe not under MARA.
I : At what university?
F : Alexandria, University of Alexandria.
I : (They look at each other, and nodding. -Am I saying something wrong?)
Could you explain about your family?
F : (Oh, I hate this part!) OK, my father, passed away when I was in Form Two.
But my mom don't work, she's a housekeeper (home maker is a better phrase).
My first sister ('eldest'lah pandai) is in UIAM Kuantan.
My second sister is in UIAM Gombak. While...
I : (Cutting my words.) And your brother, in 'Matrik Pulau Pinang" and your last sister is still in school.
(Reading my application form with curiosity.)
F : Sorry if I ask personal matter, but I really want to know how does your family survive?
You said that your mother isn't working.
F : (Please, I really don't wanna answer... But I've to.)
Yeah, since my father passed away, we cut so many of the expenses to suit the pension.
I : From the list here, only your second sister is sponsored, and by JPA.
F : Yes.
I : And how about your sister, Wan 'Atiqah, she didn't receive any scholarship. Does she take PTPTN Loan?
F : No.
I : So, how does she survive there?
F : She cut down her expenses.
(Same answer, I don't know, but for me, my family is still having happy times. I think he's imagining the worst condition.)
(I just wanna say it is barakah, but seems to be too religious.)
I : (Hesitated.) (Straightening his body.)
And you wrote here that you're sponsored by JAKIM.
F : (The story begins...)
Actually, I'm in a program at Darul Quran. Tahfiz Al-Quran Certification Program.
I : When does the program end?
F : May 2010.
I : Then, when do you want to go for foundation?
F : After that, as what is stated in my application form.
I : So, you don't want to go for foundation this year, but next year.
F : Yes. (I feel like a dumb dumping.)
I : We can't offer you for the next year, because we've to fill the blocks this year.
If you reject our offer, (does she mean they've already offered me?) we need to find someone else to fill up the blocks.
Why don't you apply next year?
F : (This is the dumbest part.) I want to secure a place for the next year.
Because, what I've heard that MARA don't open to B Category for studying in UK. Only Egypt.
I : NO, it's not like that. With your results, you can apply next year. For UK.
F : (Terkesima. Salahlah aku sebelum ni? Siapalah yang cakap tu.)
OK. (Rasa macam nak keluar sekarang juga!)
I : You get a very excellent results, why not, you just continue study for foundation this July before going to UK.
Let say, if we offer you this July, will you accept it?
F : I'll do solat istikharah first.
I : But, do you want to go for this year? (Oh, I understand. -Slow.)
F : If you say that I can apply for the next year, I will not accept it. (Macam sedikit kebodohan.)
I : (Muka berubah.) (It seems like my interview is helpless, it is.)
You are taking risks.
Yes, you can apply next year. But we already know that our economy isn't good.
They might cut the number of the students to be offered.
F : What about January intake?
I : (Ada-ada saja budak seekor ni.)
F : I've gone to MARA carnival.
I : Where?
F : PWTC.
I : Oh, a month ago?
F : Yes.
I : (They're looking each other.)
We aren't in charge for that right? (He asks the another interviewer.)
No, we aren't there. (Looking back at me.)
F : I went to KYUEM booth. And he (I mean the one who was promoting said, maybe the interviewers understand) said that there is January intake.
I : Really? Do you've his phone number?
F : No.
I : (Hesitated for a while.)
If it is like that we can't decide. We will get your case to the panel.
Wait, if it is January, you're stiil in the program.
F : If MARA wants to offer me on January, I'll try finish memorising this year. (insya Allah, cakap senanglah.)
I : (Macam agak terkejut.)
OK. If that's the case, we will try to settle it with the panel.
If you're not offered this year, you can reapply next year, we'll keep aside your record.
(Fuh, memang baik macam ni.)
F : OK.
I : Always update with MARA website.
If your name, aren't shortlisted in this May, you'll need to check the website frequently, maybe you're offered for January intake.
If it is there in this May, I hope you make the best decision for yourself.
Do you've any question?
F : Yeah, I would like to ask about SPC. (Should already know, but unfortunately not.)
I : It is a convertible loan, that means it depends on your pointer to determine how much you need to pay back to MARA.
The higher the pointer, the lesser payment.
And, if you get first class honor, you don't need to pay any.
That's an incentive to our students to study hard.
Anything else you want to ask?
F : No. Thank you. (Rising from my seat as they also do it.)
I : OK. Hope you make a wise decision for your future. (Both smiling.)
F : (Shaking hands with the male interviewer and reply their smiling.)
(Get off from there.)

Nearly 40 minutes.
Normally 10 minutes only.
Weird isn't it?
So what do you think about my interview?
Negative?
Please leave a comment.
I write to this length is to be judged.

Agak Terkesima

2009-04-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

It was in the last Friday.
Rushing here and there, I tried to get the permission from Hal Ehwal Pelajar(HEP) officers. I wanted to go for a scholarship interview and tried to go back using the 'halal' way.
Hehehe.

To conclude, I hate bureaucracy.

Then, I went to the bus stop, waiting for a bus to go to the commuter station.
'And be one traveler, long I stood,' as the plank there was wet.
Disappointed, I called my friend who was planning to take a taxi to the station.
And it would cost me money even more compared to taking a bus.

Then, I waited for them in front of the main gate.

Taking out a bun from the wrapper, I saw a 'bunting' cat, walking towards me.
She looked so pity that I wanted to give her the bun.
But, as what I know, cats are carnivorous.

Just to make an experiment, I gave her a bit from the bun.

And she ate it!
She must be either so hungry or realistically grateful with whatever is given.

Even though I was hungry, I didn't realise that I'd given her most of my bun.
Ironically, I felt 'puas.'

Rummaging the plastic wrapper into my pocket, I saw a car moving towards the gate.
And, confusingly, it stopped in front of me.
It was driven by a 'floor engineer's' husband.

'Where do you wanna go?'
'Kuala Kubu Bharu,' I said.
'C'mon, take a seat behind.'
I hesitated for a while before going towards the car.

He was friendly, helpful and generous that he didn't want me to pay the fare.

When I entered the commuter, taking my seat, I wondered what had happened to me.

'Sudah terang lagi bersuluh.'
Allah terus-terus bagi imbalan lepas saja aku bagi makan kucing tu.
Nak ikutkan, roti ban tu murah saja.
Teksi, masya Allah, dalam 8 ringgit.
Fuh, memang terasa Allah memang nak tolong.

So, let's take this story as an i'tibar for ourselves.
I'm not saying that I'm good. It is just that I really want to share the greatness of Allah.
Really, it is just that.

Decision

2009-03-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Aku ada tiga perancangan.
Aku nak habiskan Darul Quran dulu.
Lepas tu, baru fikir nak ke mana.
Apa-apa pun akhir sekali aku nak jadi herbalis yang merawat dan membuat kajian.

1) DQ-UIAM(Medicine)-UK(Specialisation)-UK(PhD)
2) DQ-UK(Medicine/Biomedical Science)-UK(Specialisation/Masters)-UK(PhD)
3) DQ-UM/UiTM(Biomedical Science)-UK(Masters)-UK(PhD)

Yang penting, solat istikharah.
Kita merancang dan Allah pun merancang.

Sekarang ni, hati kena bersihkan daripada sebarang ke-berat sebalah-an.
Baru istikharah berkesan.

Alhamdulillah

2009-03-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

Semalam,
aku tidur lewat bangat.
Pukul 2 pagi baru boleh lelapkan mata.
Lepas solat subuh, balik sambung tidur.
Harap-harap cepat sikit masa tu datang...

Dalam kereta, sibuk dengan telefon bimbit.
Biasalah, jantung rasanya macam nak terkeluar.
Sampai-sampai, aku ingatkan pukul 10 dah boleh ambil.
Rupa-rupanya, sejam lagi aku kena tunggu.
Haih.

Cikgu Nasvin muka macam serba salah,
"Firas awak ada masalah sikit,
yuran ada yang tak beres."
Aku pun macam terkaget di situ.
"Tapi, tak apa. Cikgu bayarkan.
Hadiah."

Kemudian, cikgu pun tunjuklah keputusan aku.
Tergumam.
Nak menangis, tapi macam malu.
'Speechless.'
Aku macam dah tak tentu arah.
Biar benar?
Sampai sekarang masih tak percaya.

Aku terfikir,
mesti ada sebab Allah bagi aku macam ni.
Mungkin dah tahu.
Tapi belum pasti.

I'm just wondering.

And I'm in dillema.

Darul Quran 'Living Organism'

2009-03-08T09:28:00.000+08:00

Okeylah, sekarang aku nak bercerita tentang hidup aku di Darul Quran.

Isnin sampai Jumaat, pukul 8 pagi ada kelas tasmi'. Maknanya, aku kena hantar 'modal' kepada ustaz dalam bentuk muka surat atau maqra'. Standard yang diletakkan, 2 maqra' satu hari. Memang perit. Setiap hari kena bagi output dan cari input.

Kepada sesiapa yang berhajat nak masuk Darul Quran, baik fikir betul-betul sebelum masuk.
Bukan senang. Kalau boleh cuba hafal dulu sebelum masuk, tengok berapa lama diambil untuk menghafal satu muka atau satu maqra'. Kebanyakan maahad tahfiz, standard satu hari dalam satu muka surat atau 1 maqra'. So, tak semestinya kalau nak menghafal kena masuk Darul Quran. Tempat lain banyak lagi.

Kadang-kadang, stres tak dapat nak hantar 2 maqra'. Ada ustaz yang 'strict' sikit, siapa yang tak tasmi' paling sikit 4 muka surat, kenalah berdiri sepanjang kelas atau denda-denda yang lain.

Kalau ada orang cakap duduk di Darul Quran sebagai seorang pelajar program persijilan tahfiz tu best, dia tak cerita kesemuanya. Fasal benda-benda yang seronok, rasanya tak perlu cerita sangat. Kalau tak, nanti jadi 'indah khabar daripada rupa'.

Memanglah ada yang cakap budak persijilan Darul Quran banyak masa kosong, tapi macam aku kelas bahasa inggeris setiap minggu ada kerja rumah. Buat 'speech', esei dan buku latihan. Kelas tajwid pun, kena 'prepare' untuk pembentangan selang sebulan. Kelas 'Understanding Islam' saja yang betul-betul relax. Itu tak kira masa nak mengulang yang kena seimbangkan dengan masa menghafal. Kalau banyak hafal dalam satu hari lagi banyaklah nak kena mengulang. Kalau ambil diploma di Darul Quran taklah kena hantar modal banyak sangat satu hari sebab diorang ada subjek-subjek penting yang lain. Jadi kedua-duanya tak banyak masa kosong. Tetap kena mujahadah kurangkan tidur, borak, main telefon bimbit dan kerja-kerja lain. Internet tak usahlah nak dikhabarkan, satu bilik komputer untuk semua. Dahlah macam tu, lembab lagi. Haih, I'm feeling like a part of my life is taken away.

Memang kalau nak menghafal Kalam Allah ini, kena ada objektif yang jelas. Bukan sebab ikut orang, nak cari 'glamour', nampak gempak ataupun sebab nak 'escape' PLKN- aku mula-mula macam ni, tapi waktu pergi interview betulkan niat baliklah.

Setakat tu saja dulu. I'm telling you the reality, this is not a promotion. Walaupun banyak benda-benda yang best, tapi benda tu bukan utama. Ramai yang dah larut dengan 'complacency' hidup di Darul Quran. Kebanyakannya sebab keadaan yang betul-betul tenang, tak jumpa orang luar dan sebab terpengaruh dengan kawan.

Just wanna ask a question.

2009-03-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

Korang rase mane lebey baek:
1. Aku cakap bahase pasar + rojak,
2. atau Bahasa Melayu yang agak gramatis tetapi santai,
3. or just using English?

Mane yang korang rase cambest?
Bile aku tengok blog org laen cam lagi bertamadun je...
Tu yang terase... Penulisan yang tak bertamadun.

Walaupun aku tahu tiadalah seramai mana manusia yang sudi melihat blog yang serba bosan ini...
Tetapi tidak salah kiranya aku bertanya kerna aku mahukan yang terbaik dalam penulisan aku yang bertaraf rendah ini.

Hohoho, tu bahase yang agak standard la, tak macam yang aku tengah tulis ni,
Tapi kalo, aku tengah cite pasal mende boring (cam psychology),
mungkin aku akan tulis santai sket.

Next weekend, I'll be home for a week- for getting my unpredictable SPM result. So, hope you can review my little blog often because I'll frequently update my blog for the whole week. Biasalah, melepaskan gianlah katakan...

My Status

2009-03-01T08:27:00.000+08:00

I'm studying in a 'so-tenang' place where the Internet is 'the very very the susah' to find. So, I won't update my blog 'selalu sangat macam korang' . Maybe once a month, if only I return home.

After this, I'll try my best to submit as many posts as I can since it's once a month- Allah saja yang tahu betapa betapa gilenya aku without Internet.

Anyways, hope all of you could pray for the excellence of my study in Darul Quran as it's quite tough. My target is to get 4.0 for my CGPA. Hehehe, that means I've to be so 'rajin' which is something contradicts to what you've known me.

Yosh! Ganbatte kudasaii!

Esok kena hantar 'modal'... And also days and months after that...

Think like a director

2009-01-25T07:48:00.000+08:00

Yang ni best.
Tapi agak time consuming la.

Sekarang fikirkan satu happy memory korang.
'Rate'kan tahap kegumbiraan tu (pleasure intensity) between 0-100.
Then, cube analyze. Korang nampak gamba ke, korang dengar suare ke, tak pon die lebih kepade perasaan daripada yang lain (aku macam ni la).

Kalo takde gamba, create gambar tu. Kalo tak dengar suare, buat jadi ade. Rasekan macam btol2 ade dalam pengalaman tu (suhu, tekanan, cuace, sakit, sedap dan laen2).
Jangan risau, pasal ape yang ade dalam kepale kite boleh di'create'.
N tolong enjoy bnde ni. Takkanla berangan pon xleh nak enjoy?
Caner nak naikkan pleasure intensity?
Bwat macam director. Terang, gelap. Berwarna, hitamputih. Gamba bergerak ke tak. Dalam bentuk horizon or framed. Macam2 lagi. Tu kene discuss kat tempat laen.
Atau kepade sesaper yang nak enjoy, boleh beli buku2 Anthony Robbins'.

To know urself

2009-01-25T07:29:00.000+08:00

Everyone simpan memory dalam 3 bentuk yg aku cakap.
Tapi setiap orang ade satu kekuatan yg lebih antara semua jenis.
Contohnye:

1. Kalo orang cakap laju, tu maknenye die lebih kepada visual.
Ni sebab die 'nampak' dalam kepale die, tapi mulut die ade satu.
So berhamburanlah perkataan untuk describe ape yang die nampak.

2. Orang yang cakap jelas, dengar butiran2 percakapan die, maksudnye auditorylah tu.
Sebab bagi die suare tu amat penting dan kite selalu berkomunikasi menggunakan suare.
Pasal tu orang yang bagus bercakap biasenye berjaye.

3. Kalo org cakap gune suare dalam, n die cakap slow, tu memang kinesthetic.
Orang jenis ni agak kesian. Pasal dunie sekarang kurang sedar pasal golongan ni.
So, disebabkan penghayatan perasaan yang lebih, kami (ye, aku jenis ni!) sering disalah anggap sebagai lemah.

Tulah sedikit sebanyak dari sudut suare.
Macam mane pon tiap sorang ade kelebihan masing2.
Yang menggembirekan bende ni boleh di'train'
Pasal tu ade orang yang kinesthetic, bile bercakap kat depan macam jadi orang laen(auditory)

Wut's ur way 2 keep ur memory?

2009-01-24T07:34:00.000+08:00

"(Dengan sebab keingkaran mereka), Allah mematerikan atas hati mereka serta pendengaran mereka, dan pada penglihatan mereka ada penutupnya; dan bagi mereka pula disediakan azab seksa yang amat besar."

Rasenyer da ramai pon yg tau ayat ni (Al-Baqarah: 7).
Tapi sape yg btol2 amek berat?
Barat gak...

Kalo ikut cakap Anthony Robbins (Unlimited Power), snanye org simpan igtn die dalam 3 bentuk:

1. Visual (gamba2 n video2)

2. Auditory (suare org, bunyik latar belakang, sound effects)

3. Kinesthetic (sentuhan, perasaan, ape2 yg barkait dengan bnde2 camtu-suhu, tekanan, sedeh, happy, n mcm2 lagi)

So, da jelas kn? Allah da bagi klu kte yg x nak kaji. Kalo ntuk blaja pon, ramai da ustaz yg cakap kiter kn bukak hati, pasang telinga n mata.

Tu sume ade sebab n snanyer bnyak lagi secret2 yg boleh digunekan bdasarkn 3 perkare ni. Yang tu aku nk bncang laen kali.

Salam

2009-01-24T07:29:00.000+08:00

At last, I've my own blog.

Kat sini aku nak share ape2 je yg aku tau.
Maybe pasal manga, eheheh
or herbs,
or wutsoeva!

Ape yang penting,
kerjesame

daripade kengkorang sumer...